Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Hating on the French

A noble pastime to be sure. Enjoy.

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these
drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by
---Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
--Norman Schwarzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
....Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--- Regis Philbin

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and beautiful young woman sitting
together in a carriage in a train going through a French Province. Suddenly
the train went through a tunnel and, as it was an old style train, there
were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Suddenly there
was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came
out of the tunnel the woman and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing
had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face where he had been
slapped. . The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed
her and she missed him and slapped me instead.' The woman was thinking: 'The
French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman
And got slapped for it.' And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The
next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise
and slap that French guy again.'

Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

An old saying:
Raise your right hand if you like the French....
Raise both hands if you are French.

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940' s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it."
---John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he
hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."
--Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get
Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out
Of France!"
---Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into
Paris under a German flag."
--David Letterman-